All's Fair in Love and War? Five Horrible Divorce Stories

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If your significant other forgot Valentine's Day, don't get too angry. Kentucky is a “no-fault” divorce state which means you can't use their forgetfulness against them in an attempt to secure more of the marital property. In fact, the best procedure if you feel your marriage is irretrievably broken is to come to an amicable agreement as to how to split the assets. Of course, a lot of times that is easier said than done. There are countless stories of people taking the divorce process too far, and a lot of times the only real winner is the attorney. For your Valentine's Day pleasure, below are 5 stories of bitter divorces that will make you happy that the only thing your spouse did was forget the flowers or candy.

The Old-School Tweeter:

A woman in China began to get suspicious of her husband when their pet bird, a Mynah bird, started saying unusual phrases. She heard the bird saying things like “I love you,” and “Divorce,” and “Be patient.” The bird would use these phrases more often when the couple’s phone rang, causing the woman to suspect her husband was having an affair. She even went as far as attempting to introduce the bird’s testimony in court. As a disclaimer, birds are not competent to testify in Kentucky, but your direct message tweets might be admissible in some proceedings.

The Home Wrecker (Literally):

A Cambodian man decided to call it quits with his wife of 40 years. However, instead of taking the matter to the Cambodian courts he decided to just take his half of the marital property. He and several friends packed his property into one side of the marital home and the non-attorney-construction crew divided the house by sawing it in half. Of course, because there was no legal dissolution of the marriage, the couple still co-own all the marital property. Keep in mind that in Kentucky, you and your spouse will continue to co-own property as well as debts until a formal dissolution decree is entered. If you are worried your soon-to-be ex will squander the marital property you should not delay in filing the necessary paperwork.

The Mama's Boy:

The honeymoon period for an Italian couple ended during the honeymoon when the new groom brought his mother along. The 39 year-old salesman secretly booked a room for his mother at the 5 Star Parisian retreat where the newlyweds were staying. The new bride had already had enough of her “suffocating mother-in-law” because she lived next door to their home in Italy. Her reason for filing the divorce paper so soon? “She wants a divorce because of her husband’s excessive emotional attachment to his mother.” That could probably cause an irretrievably broken marriage in Kentucky too. But keep in mind that grandparents have a right to grandchildren visitation in Kentucky, so you might not be able to get rid of your mother-in-law that easily.

The Taker-Backer:

Divorces can be upsetting. Sometimes the relationship gets so toxic a person might rather their ex just end up dead - or at least prevent their spouse from filtering out the toxicity. A doctor in New York thought he had found his perfect match when his wife of 11 years became sick and needed a kidney transplant. After failing to match her father and brother, it turned out that her soulmate also turned out to be her kidney-mate. He donated the organ in 2001, but maybe her new lease on life convinced her to seek greener pastures. She filed for divorce just 4 years later. The doctor then demanded his kidney back, or at least $1.5 million for it. A British woman did the same thing after finding out her sick husband wasn't too sick to carry on an affair. Kidneys, as well as all other organs, do not have a fair market value in Kentucky, but a broken heart might get pretty costly.

The Biological Warfarer:

Paying alimony can stink, sometimes literally. A New York man faced criminal charges in Arizona when he sent something extra with his alimony checks. He allegedly covered them in his feces. His former spouse moved to Arizona to escape his harassment but he continued to send her vulgar notes, as well as a picture of him holding a serrated knife. He was charged with sending hazardous materials through the U.S. mail and was released pending trial after posting a $35,000 bond. If you feel compelled to send fecal matter to your ex to display your true feelings, we would suggest you don't and that you stick with Emojis. Stay away from the gun Emojis though - that might be considered a threat.